The weirdest stuff we saw on Amazon this week

Well, dearest Mashable readers, another week has come and gone. One where the heavy-hitters of the fast food game warred over chicken sandwiches and tons of celebrities fell for an Instagram privacy hoax. Yes, a lot can happen in seven days on the internet.

And of course, the passing of another week also means the depths of Amazon have replenished themselves once again with a healthy dose of weird. So let’s dive in, shall we?

Here are some of the weirdest things we unearthed on Amazon this week: 

This year’s Dog Day may have already passed, but we love any excuse to be a little bougee when it comes to our four-legged friends. The Amazon listing for the Puff-N-Fluff pet dryer boasts that “the days of leaving your pet alone for hours to dry are now gone,” which is kind of confusing because who abandons their dogs while they’re wet? Monsters, that’s who. You can get this pet dryer sized perfectly for your dog ranging from extra small to large, starting at $39.95. 

Travel is expensive. Why book a plane ticket abroad when you can escape to breathtaking scenery from the comfort of your own cutting board? Just be sure not to get too distracted by those hay bales while you’re dicing up veggies since trips to the ER are also a pretty penny. Get the set of six for $29.99. 

I, too, look this chic while dealing with a migraine. This “brain massager” — priced at $439.99 on Amazon — is designed to alleviate and soothe pressure points around your temples, head, eyes, scalp, and back of neck. The reviews are mixed, but you’ll want to head over there just to see the Fashion Week-worthy poses of the models decked out in the device. 

Behold: the glove of choice for tending to your garden while subtly cosplaying as Wolverine. Just remember you have them on while waving hello to the neighbors walking by. Get your hands on a pair for

This week’s designated audible “yuck” is brought to you by this egg separator. The perfect addition to any kitchen, simply crack your egg and tilt it forward to enjoy nose-leaked egg whites straight into your breakfast skillet. Get one for $12.99. 

A good rule of thumb? If you see the words “blaster” and “toilet” in the same sentence, it’s probably best to head the other way. But this particular Nerf Gun-esque toilet plunger caught our eye and has really impressive reviews. The people have spoken, I guess. Get one for .

You know what they say. Where words fail us, OutKast speaks: 

Get the ultimate foot-cleaning device for $11.99. 

There’s nothing silly about the mature scents of chamomile, frankincense, and clove. Nothing. So if you’re ready to grow up and play with squishy goo in a more sophisticated aroma palette, it’s time to get this set of Aroma Putty for $22.40.

If you’re someone who struggles to get the suggested daily intake of good ol’ H2O, these dangly earrings will serve as the perfect reminder each time you look in the mirror. Pledge your allegiance to hydration by rocking a pair for the low price tag of $2.79.

I’ve watched Little Shop of Horrors enough times to trust these little guys. But if you find yourself in the market for a low-maintenance plant, it turns out you can get a Venus fly trap housed in a self-sustaining terrarium on Amazon for $7.99. Don’t say I didn’t warn you if things take a turn for the worst (see below).