Sad internet man Ted Cruz tells Twitter to ban Iran’s Supreme Leader

Known Twitter-porn fan Ted Cruz is upset about something on the internet. Or, more specifically, someone. 

The Texas senator and official beard boy signed a letter yesterday addressed to Twitter CEO Jack Dorsey complaining about the presence of certain unsavory characters on the social media platform. It seems that Cruz wants Dorsey to kick both Iran’s supreme leader Ali Khamenei and Iran’s foreign minister Javad Zarif off Twitter. 

Cruz, along with three other Republican signatories, argues that the First Amendment doesn’t apply to Khamenei (it doesn’t actually apply to any “speech” on Twitter as Twitter is a private company), and that if Twitter doesn’t get its shit together and remove the Ayatollah from its platform then there will be issues. 

“While the First Amendment protects the free speech rights of Americans — and Twitter should not be censoring the political speech of Americans — the Ayatollah enjoys zero protection from the United States Bill of Rights,” reads the letter in part. “And, as the leader of the world’s leading state sponsor of terrorism — directly responsible for the murder of hundreds of U.S. citizens — the Ayatollah and any American companies providing him assistance are entirely subject to U.S. sanctions laws.”

Cruz, who is so despised on Twitter that he’s actually pretended to be the Zodiac killer in a desperate attempt to get people to like him, writes that he and his fellow Republicans will be providing a copy of the letter to Donald Trump. 

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We reached out to Twitter in an effort to get its response to this demand, but the company declined to comment. Perhaps everyone at Twitter HQ is too busy wondering how Cruz managed to take a break from fav’ing porn tweets to actually write and send letter.