How to throw a virtual cocktail party (and meet new people)

A calendar filled with invitations is the goal of every modern social butterfly. Alas, the promise of soirees, galas, bridge dates, or tête-à-têtes has temporarily flown the coop. 

That means a good host or hostess has but one option: to throw the virtual party of the year! What better gift can one give to one’s nearest and dearest than an event on the calendar?

The fundamentals of party planning, whether in person or virtual, remain much the same. Curate a stimulating guest list. Maintain decorum. Elevate the experience with thoughtful details. You know this.

However, in this brave new world where chatrooms have replaced parlors, a little extra guidance can’t hurt. 

“A successful cocktail party, whether virtual or in-person, should have good cocktails, good entertainment, and most importantly, good company!” Sean Pearson, the beverage director at La Esquina NYC, a restaurant in New York City, says. “Guests should leave the party feeling as though they learned something from someone or made a new connection.”

Here is what you, my dear, should know about throwing a virtual cocktail party for the ages. 

1. Make it official

Send out invitations (perhaps Paperless Post or eVite). Set a date and time. Confinement to our homes does not mean we do not yearn for the ability to make plans! Give your guests something to look forward to.

2. Curate — and outsource — the guest list

Have you been speaking with the same handful of friends on Zoom call after Zoom call? This is the time to branch out. Don’t feel bad if you invite someone with whom you are not in regular contact. This event is all about bringing people together.

What’s more, let people bring a date! In your invitation, suggest that your guests pass on the invitation to one friend, acquaintance, or lover of their choosing — preferably one you might not know. Who says you can’t meet new people in quarantine?!

3. Create special touches

Setting a theme, dress code, and suggested menu can help unify a virtual experience. Consider:

• Sending a folder with potential backgrounds that set a mood. Tiki? Speakeasy? You decide!

• Initiate an on-theme dress code; “the better you dress the worse you can behave,” reminds Kenneth McCoy, partner at The Rum House.

• Suggest that your guests prepare a cocktail ahead of time.

• Share music. There are several apps, such as Vertigo, that will allow everyone to listen to the same playlist at the same time. One service, called JQBX, lets you open the music sharing service on a web page. Most of these require Spotify Premium. Be sure to make an on-theme playlist for your guests, with instructions on how to connect, ahead of time! If everyone’s music is synced, they should be able to keep playing it while they are talking or otherwise unmuted without breaking other guests’ ears.

4. Share tips for easy to make cocktails

As the contents of your guests’ personal bars may have become depleted over quarantine, you might want to send out some tips for how to make something special and delicious from what they have on hand. 

“Whatever drink you devise, if you’re enjoying it at a virtual party, be sure to show it off and give it a fun name, even name it after yourself or your host,” Kara Newman, the spirits editor at Wine Enthusiast Magazine, suggests. “It’s more about sharing the experience than it is about the drink!”

For a virtual cocktail party, the advice of the experts is universal: “keep it simple,” Pearson suggests. “If your assortment is all over the place, my advice is to pick a spirit to build around, and start with one mixer to find a balance. As I mentioned above, keeping it simple is the key to finding the right marriage of flavors. From there you can add a cordial, bitters, juices, or sweeteners for more complexity.”

Newman has some more practical advice that involves the liquor of your choice, citrus juice, and sugar.

 A Daiquiri is a great drink to make at home: 2 ounces rum (that’s 1/4 cup, or 4 tablespoons), 1 ounce (2 Tbs) lime juice, 1 ounce (2 Tbs) simple syrup – which is just equal parts hot water and sugar, stirred until the sugar dissolves. The drink can be shaken in any container that has a lid, then strained into a glass.

In the event you are more of a whiskey, vodka, or gin drinker:

Follow that same template above. Swap in gin or vodka for rum, and it’s a gimlet. Swap in whiskey and lemon juice, and it’s a whiskey sour. Serve it over ice or not, it’s a pretty forgiving template. Another one of my favorites is equal parts whiskey and amaro, if you happen to have both on hand. Any kind of whiskey + any kind of amaro tends to be delicious.

5. Establish a protocol

In terms of party flow, you want your virtual soiree to run more like a dinner party than a traditional mil-about cocktail affair. That means not everyone should be able to talk at once, and that there should be a leader who guides conversation and activity. That can be you, or you can enlist someone else.

“Virtual parties are a completely different dynamic compared to in-person parties,” Newman said. “In person, people tend to break off into smaller groups and have spontaneous conversations. In virtual parties, you need a little organization or everyone is yelling over one another, or people zone out and start checking their phones.”

In other words: make liberal use of “mute all,” and call on guests when it’s their time to contribute. Make sure guests know that this is how it is going to work. Helm the ship!

6. Break the ice

Icebreakers are often the stuff of dull corporate retreats. But with the right implementation and questions, they can pave the way for a special night of virtual revelry. Newman suggests that everyone can change their on-screen name with a word or two that indicates how they know the host (that’s you). You can also branch out into non-standard icebreakers. Questions like what’s your favorite movie or band help build camaraderie fast, but shallowly. Perhaps lean on questions that demand some self-reflective nostalgia – everyone’s favorite quality. For example “What were you known for in high school?” or “Describe your first kiss.” Intimate AND hilarious!

7. Have some (organized) fun

Keep the method of engaging people with regular participation going. Try playing games like Pictionary (everyone will need a pad and paper) or Charades. Since everyone is listening to the same playlist, you can take dance breaks, or have dance competitions. 

8. Relax

While hopefully difficult circumstances can bring out the best in us, we know that a Zoom cocktail party may bring up a variety of feelings. But if you stay calm and enthusiastic, your guests will follow. 

“A good cocktail party is about connecting with other people,” Newman said. “If the host is stressed, guests will be stressed; if the host is relaxed, it will help guests relax too.”

So take a deep breath, carry on, and have a good cocktail on us.

If you’re able to shop for some cocktail ingredients ahead of time, here are two simple cocktails courtesy of Sean Parson, the bar director at . Parson suggests making them with mezcal, but they are quite flexible. Enjoy!

Mezcal Manhattan

2 ounce Mezcal

1ounce Sweet Vermouth (we like this with Dolin)

3 dashes Angostura Bitters

Mix all ingredients in a shaker and add ice. Stir for 15 rotations and strain into desired glass. Can be served “up” or on “the rocks.” Garnish with a charred orange peel, maraschino cherry, or a brandy cherry.

The Manhattan is one of those classic cocktails of which its versatility makes it so seductive. Spirit forward, but sweet and balanced, this three-part cocktail can be done with any number of substitutions for both the spirit and the cordial. Equal parts delicious, whether based with mezcal, rye, tequila or bourbon, you can also mess around with amaro and in place of the sweet vermouth (depending on the spirit you choose). While many of us crave to ignite our senses these days as we are stuck at home, few things will be as satisfying as finding your “sweet spot” with the Manhattan. 

Mezcal Gimlet 

2 ounce   Mezcal

1 ounce fresh squeezed lime juice

1 swirl of agave 

Mix all ingredients in a shaker and add ice. Shake vigorously, and strain into desired glass. Can be served “up” or “on the rocks.” Garnish with a lime or charred rosemary sprig.

Often forgotten about due to its simplicity, the bright and refreshing gimlet is a perfect compliment to the sweet and savory Manhattan at any soiree this summer (also one of the healthiest options!). Whether you are a career mixologist or the casual imbiber, both the Manhattan and the gimlet are perfect templates to indulge your creativity in the comfort of your own home. Although easy to build, these recipes allow you to add seamless layers of complexity in the search for your “perfect” preference. During these times of delicate health and uncertainty, let’s stick to the basics, use healthy spirits, and enjoy the fruits of our labor.  

– Sean Parson