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Facebook is making more money than ever because nothing matters

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Sorry, haters! Despite privacy scandal after privacy scandal, Facebook posted record profits last quarter. 

As one Facebook employee recently put it, “Fuck ethics. Money is everything.” Revenue in Q4 hit  $16.9 billion, up 30 percent from a year ago. 

Facebook also gained users. Imagine Mark Zuckerberg climbing up this chart, standing atop the Q4 2018 column triumphantly, with what his friends assure him is a very human-like smile on his face. 

Facebook saw strong growth in India, Indonesia, and the Philippines, where strongman President Rodrigo Duterte basically weaponized Facebook to propel himself to victory. 

And you thought #DeleteFacebook would take down the social media behemoth … that’s very cute. Zuck is making hella cash. We’re sure he’ll fundamentally change his business model any day now. 

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