Endgame’ mean the Hulk can have sex now?

This post contains spoilers for Avengers: Endgame. Read at your own risk. 

One of the greatest things about the Marvel Cinematic Universe is how well it blends comic book action with character development. The emotional journeys and limitations of each Avenger and Avenger-adjacent hero are a huge part of what has made Marvel’s characters so loveable, even and perhaps because some of those limitations are tied to their powers and responsibilities. 

Take, for example, the Hulk. He’s big, he’s green, he’s beefy as heck, but at the core of the strongest Avenger is a mild-mannered super genius who has been canonically incapable of having an orgasm for at least a decade. Please don’t click away. This is real and it’s serious. For almost the entirety of the MCU, Bruce Banner could not have sex. 

As it did for Captain America, however, Avengers: Endgame may have finally changed that and thereby completed one of the Hulk’s quieter and hornier character arcs. 

In 2008’s The Incredible Hulk, Bruce Banner is five years past his initial transformation into the Big Guy and is hiding in Brazil, where he works at a soda factory and practices meditation to keep his heart rate low enough to avoid Hulking out. Since the movie is not called The Incredibly Calm Soda Bottler Named Bruce Who Is Fine, that doesn’t work out great for him, and the Hulk reemerges first as a threat, and then as a hero in the fight against Emil Blonsky/Abomination.

The Incredible Hulk is not one of Marvel’s best films, but it does spend a lot of time laying the groundwork for Bruce Banner as a tragic romantic figure. A flashback to his initial transformation shows his girlfriend Betty Ross (with whom he was probably having intellectually satisfying genius sex) co-conducting the experiment that changed him and becoming one of the Hulk’s first almost-casualties. Hulk hurts Betty quite badly in his monstrous debut, which contextualizes Bruce’s self-imposed isolation as a product of the shame and guilt he feels for harming his lover. 

When Bruce and Betty reunite later in the movie, he reveals to her that maintaining his low heart, non-Hulk heart rate necessitates complete abstinence. Not like Betty doesn’t try to bang him, the absolute legend, but he’s like, “no seriously, if I get turned on the Big Guy will kill you and there’s nothing I can do about it.” 

Betty Ross disappears after The Incredible Hulk and Bruce does not return to the MCU until 2012’s The Avengers, which finds Bruce hiding in India and still struggling to control the Hulk. It seems unlikely that he figured out his heart rate problems in those four years, even if he displays the ability to voluntarily go green in the Battle of New York. Fast-forwarding to Avengers: Age of Ultron shows Banner falling in love with Natasha Romanoff, but again he alludes to the instability of his powers and insists that their relationship stay unconsummated. 

“He’s clean, he’s green, he’s enthusiastic, and he’s willing to try stuff. “

Bruce and Natasha’s ill-fated romance is not a highlight of Ultron, but there’s still something sad about his quiet longing for a normal life. The Hulk may be invulnerable, but Bruce is all vulnerability, and his fear of his desires causing further harm is part of what drives Hulk to steal Quinjet and hide away in space, where he remains until the events of Thor: Ragnarok. 

There’s a hitch here. After Ultron, Hulk remains in Hulk form for at least two years and becomes a gladiator champion on Sakaar, which is an extremely fucky planet. [Editor’s note: Hmmm.] It’s run by the Grandmaster, best described as a hedonistic maniac who built Sakaar as a pleasure dump on the outskirts of space, and if Sakaarians follow his example then they’re down for a lot of sex stuff that would simply not fly on Earth. 

This is all to say that the Hulk definitely had groupies on Sakaar, and if they were physically large enough he probably boned them. His chambers in the Grandmaster’s tower of champions had a hot tub, a massive bed, and a wet bar. What else was he supposed to be doing in there? 

Thor: Ragnarok also establishes that Bruce and the Hulk exist as separate entities sharing the same body, and that Bruce does not recall any events that happened while Hulk was in control. This dissonance continues through Infinity War, meaning that he thankfully remains ignorant of any freaky stuff the Big Guy got up to in those very weird two years in space. 

Fast forward to Endgame, which presents Bruce and the Hulk in their final form: BannerHulk, or Professor Hulk to go by his comic moniker. The body of the Hulk, substantially humanized and resembling Mark Ruffalo more than ever, with the intellect and personality of Bruce in the driver’s seat. People have already written about how dang hot BannerHulk is, because the allure of an enormous green gentleman with an off-the-charts IQ and a collection of soft-looking sweaters checks a lot of boxes, but Endgame does not answer the most important question raised by his newest transformation: Can BannerHulk have sex now?

Happy to clarify: He can. 

After years of denying himself intimacy, the existence of BannerHulk logically enables Bruce to fully engage in sexual activities once more. No longer must he fear the consequences of an errant boner or take cold showers to avoid leveling a city block —  Bruce’s heart rate is stable and he’s overdue for lovin’.

And, yes, the sheer size of the lad would make it difficult for BannerHulk to participate in many common human sexual acts, but after a decade of celibacy a genius like Bruce surely figured something out. He’s clean, he’s green, he’s enthusiastic, and he’s willing to try stuff. Your fave could never, and your ex certainly didn’t. 

Jokes aside, Endgame wraps Bruce Banner’s romance plot by killing off Natasha, for whom he clearly still carried a torch and will undoubtedly mourn, but what is surviving the apocalypse if not a chance to rediscover the beautiful things in life? There’s a whole new world of romance out there for BannerHulk, and he doesn’t seem the type to let grief get in the way of his first chance at freedom. Betty’s still out there somewhere, Bruce. Come and get your love.