‘American Horror Story’ finally brought its witches back

Spoilers for American Horror Story: Apocalypse and Coven lie ahead.

Hell to the yes. The latest installment of American Horror Story: Apocalypse featured a sexy blood bath, a world-ending Billy Eichner, and finally some witches. 

The long-awaited return of Season 3’s Coven came within the episode’s last few minutes when Cordelia Foxx, Myrtle Snow, and Madison Montgomery made an appearance at Outpost Three’s puke-covered Halloween soirée/mass murder.

Loyal AHS fans lost their minds for this first major crossover plot point and the reappearance of three beloved characters—while new viewers were left completely in the dark. (Check out GameSpot’s recap or stream Coven on Netflix if you’re the latter.) 

Regardless of your witchy cannon knowledge, this scene was super confusing and raised a lot of questions for where Apocalypse might be headed. Here’s a refresher on what went down.

“Surprise, bitch. I bet you thought you’d seen the last of me.”

Accompanied by The Rolling Stones’ “She’s a Rainbow,” the trio sweeps in through a haze of radiation, looking as enchanting as ever. “Find our sisters,” Cordelia demands. The recently deceased and not at all Coven-related Mallory, Coco, and Dinah are soon resurrected. In shock, Mallory removes her suddenly blurry glasses.

Then comes the iconic line from Madison to Mallory. “Surprise, bitch. I bet you thought you’d seen the last of me.” End episode.

To say this scene complicated the matters of Apocalypse is a massive understatement. Luckily, the internet is filled with super sleuth fans ready to crack the case on AHS’s latest bizarre plot turn and predict a course back to sanity.

Here are the top fan theories on what went down during that resurrection, how Mallory knows Madison, and where our favorite Salem-descendants are taking this season. 

A bunch of Coven witches just came back… but not the ones you think.

If Dinah, Mallory, and Coco are The Coven’s sisters, obviously, they’re witches. But, is it possible they’re not the witches we think?

Season 3 made it extra clear that what is dead in the AHS-verse doesn’t have to stay dead. (Enter Misty Day resurrecting folks left and right.) 

Naturally, that could mean that instead of bringing back Dinah, Mallory, and Coco, Cordelia actually resurrected the souls of Season 3 witches in the body’s of Season 8 characters. Mallory’s earlier episode description of feeling like she has someone “trapped” inside of her could have foreshadowed this development. 

Tons of viewers agree that reincarnation is the best possible explanation for Madison’s “Surprise, bitch” line to Mallory—she said the same thing to Jessica Lange’s character in Season 3 following her own return from the dead. However, there’s tons of disagreement on who could be inhabiting which body. Is it Fiona Goode? Queenie? Nan? Misty? Zoe? 

Regardless of who is who, I’m just hoping this body takeover theory is correct because Coco doesn’t get to be a witch. I simply won’t allow it.

Could Mallory be the next Supreme? 

If the body takeover theory is correct, Mallory slowly taking off her glasses à la She’s All That makes complete sense. (None of her possible body dwellers wore glasses.)

But if the reincarnation theory is wrong, then this eyewear moment could indicate Mallory is actually the next Supreme aka head leader of The Coven. One of the signs that the next Supreme is emerging is glowing health, like 20/20 vision. Not to mention, she was able to battle the supposed antichrist effectively, albeit briefly, earlier in the episode.

Or maybe Mallory’s an angel?

A few fans are speculating that Mallory is something even more powerful than a witch. In the battle of good vs. evil, we’ve got the devil running around (more on that later)… so why not a super powerful good guy to battle him? Like an archangel perhaps? 

Aside from Frances Conroy’s brief stint as the Angel of Death in Asylum, this would take American Horror Story into completely new and intimidating territory. But it would also explain Cordelia saying, “Mallory, we need your help” in the Episode 4 promo. I mean, they added robots so I guess angels are possible. 

Note: Calling Mallory by her real name may not totally discount the possession theory… but it does indicate that if she is inhabited by someone or something else they’re living alongside each other.

Or does Madison know Mallory from Scream Queens?

Let’s throw all of that out and go with the fun option! 

This is probably the least plausible theory out there, but certainly one of the more entertaining ones. Emma Roberts and Billie Lourd starred in Ryan Murphy’s other terrifying series Scream Queens for two seasons. And Roberts played essentially the same character in both shows. Meaning, the “Surprise, bitch” could have come from Scream Queens’ Chanel #1 instead of Madison.

Personally, while I agree this theory is technically viable, I highly doubt (and don’t really hope) that it’s true. It would needlessly complicate the series and add a whole lot of unnecessary plot points to think through.

That being said, a double crossover could bring Jamie Lee Curtis to AHS. And Emma Roberts was seen onset in a very Scream Queens outfit… Never mind, I’m in.

Or did Mallory used to be Madison’s personal assistant?

Both Mallory and Madison worked in Hollywood. It makes sense that their paths could have crossed in a totally real-world sense.  But this theory is reasonable, logical, and totally boring… and AHS is anything but!

Now, a theory that they’re soap opera style long-lost sisters?! That I’m into. 

Michael isn’t the devil and the bunker is basically Hogwarts

Michael Langdon definitely hasn’t been awesome this season, but fans are starting to wonder if he’s actually the devil. I mean, that’s a big claim: being the devil. So far, Michael has been a homicidal a-hole at best. 

In the latest episode, Michael asked for guidance from his “father” on multiple occasions. This could be referencing (A) Tate from Murder House, his canonical father (B) the actual devil (C) some other being we haven’t been introduced to yet. No matter the answer on that, all options indicate that Michael may be less powerful than originally anticipated. 

And that’s where the warlock theory starts popping up. Since the premiere of Apocalypse, during which a school for boys was mentioned, fans have wondered if Michael was one of the warlocks mentioned in Season 3 and not really the antichrist. This would put his battle against The Coven on an even playing field and explain his connection to the bunker.  

The promo for Episode 4 showed us what appears to be flashbacks of Michael in the alleged warlock school. Next week may officially confirm this theory, but we won’t know until then.

(The only thing that’s certain? Satan or not, fans are super into this guy. It’s… a lot.)

The Coven is The Cooperative and they’re here to stop the apocalypse

Right when it would make sense for The Cooperative to show up and handle the mass murder that occurred at its outpost we get… witches? And they’re completely unscathed by nuclear fallout? Almost like they’ve been in The Cooperative’s “sanctuary?” Very suspicious.

This theory has been buzzing around since Episode 1, but the closest we’ve gotten to any confirmation is Cordelia and Myrtle’s sound bites from Episode 4’s promo. They clearly think they can spearhead the saving of Earth and appear to have the resources to do so. Plus, they want everyone to help save it together. To assist one another. To work as a team. To cooperate. 

Seeing as there has got to be more madness headed our way (namely, that “huge thing that happens in Episode 5“), here’s hoping we get some confirmation on these theories next week. Otherwise this could be a very bumpy and very confusing ride.