The bittersweet joy of the automatic WiFi connection

I lived the most unglamorous form of a bicoastal life for about two and a half years. That is, I spent most of my time in my walk-up Brooklyn apartment, but took regular trips back to my parents’ house in Los Angeles, where I stayed in my childhood bedroom. 

Each time I returned to California, I felt like I was slipping, but not quite fitting, back into my old life. After moving back to LA, I got the same feeling on a recent visit to New York City. 

In both cases, one of the things that made me feel simultaneously at home and distant from my own past was my Wi-Fi connection. 

On my first trip back to LA after moving to New York in 2016, I visited the apartment of two good friends — a couple with whom my partner and I often cooked, drank wine, and played games. When my WiFi automatically connected, it was like the house knew I was supposed to be there, folding me back into the rhythms of my old life.

On a parallel trip to New York, I visited the apartment of another couple. My partner and I used to spend at least one night almost every weekend with them. This time, those five lit up bars gave me that same initial comfort, but with an undercurrent of sadness about the fact that I would probably never visit that cozy Brooklyn walk-up as frequently as I did in the past. 

During the LA visit, the Wi-Fi connection was a welcome home; during the New York one, it was a reminder that my regular good times in that city were over. New York was just a vacation destination now.

Do you know the feeling? You visit a place where you haven’t been in a long time, somewhere that was once a meaningful and regular enough part of your life that you had on one occasion asked for the WiFi password. 

You happen to look at your phone, and realize you are connected to WiFi. Your phone knows you’ve been here before. It’s a welcome convenience, but also something more: a reminder of what this place once was. 

“It’s a welcome convenience, but also something more: a reminder of what this place once was.”

Sometimes, automatically connecting to the WiFi means a happy reunion. Sometimes, it reminds you that a connection is not as strong as it once was. In either case, you’re transported to the past, but find yourself standing firmly in the present.

Thanks to the devices we carry, we’ve amassed a record of frequently visited places and often-walked routes that hold memories of their own. While visiting Brooklyn recently, the address of my old apartment popped up as a suggested destination in Google Maps. 

There was no reason for me to go there; I had long since turned over the key. But the app knew it was a place I’d walked to often, just as my WiFi connection was a reminder of the many nights I’d spent in apartments in New York and LA. 

Often, the automatic WiFi connection can make you feel instantly at home, digital proof that this is a place you belong. Sometimes, it can show you what once was, reminding you of an intimacy where the signal, once strong, is a bit weaker today.

Either way, at least you’re connected.