Comcast, a trusted company, wants to monitor you with a smart device

It looks like you fell down. Someone will be there between 11 a.m. and 5 p.m. to assist you. 

Yes, that’s right, everyone’s favorite and definitely trusted company, Comcast, is working on a smart  device of some kind with voice-interactive features to monitor customers’ health. The news, first reported by CNBC, was independently confirmed by Mashable. The tracker will be pilot tested laster this year. 

Importantly, unlike the Google Home or Amazon Echo, Comcast’s foray into in-home devices won’t search the web or recite the forecast. Instead, it will reportedly track customer bathroom trips, and how much time they spend in bed. The company is also reportedly working on a way to track if customers have fallen down in their homes. 

It will be able to place emergency phone calls, notes CNBC. 

Unfortunately, there is still a lot that remains unknown about the specifics of a cable company monitoring your late-night pee breaks. We reached out to Comcast in an attempt to determine the product’s name, official release date, and cost. We were unable to get a statement on the record.  

A Comcast spokesperson was willing to go into more details about what the company insists is the device’s limited scope, however. 

“There is no role for this device beyond health,” the spokesperson wrote over email, “and it is purpose-built to be a sensor that detects motion.”

Imagine sensors that alert a primary caregiver that his or her aging relative, say, hadn’t gotten up from the bed for an extended period of time. This, as opposed to a whimsical Alexa-like voice telling you jokes, is more of what Comcast has in mind. 

At least initially, the device will be launched in partnership with a health care provider of some kind — likely insurer Independence Health Group. 

So while clearly not in direct competition with products like the Apple Watch, Comcast’s device will offer some competing services in the personal health market. The Apple Watch, for example, can detect falls and track your sleep.  

Whether anyone will feel comfortable sharing this sort of intimate information with their cable company is an open question. Comcast has been criticized for its handling of account security in the past. 

But hey, we’re sure that Comcast — a company which frequently falls on “America’s most hated companies” lists — has only the best of intentions.