Entertainment
Where ‘The Idol’ ranks in fictional pop stars
The Idol‘s release has rehashed my love for fictional pop stars. Sure, Jocelyn (Lily-Rose Depp) didn’t really give us much, but the thought of what could have been has left me yearning and reflecting on the pop stars of fiction’s past and present.
From classics like Hannah Montana to newcomers like Jocelyn, the fictional pop star is a staple character trope, constantly blessing us with bangers and backstories that elicit a level of fangirling that’s almost identical to the real deal. Naturally, as one does when they enter a rabbit hole of hyperfixation, I’ve decided to rank and list all the fictional pop stars I grew up watching, all of whom I still wish were real.
Now, an important disclaimer needs to be said. There’s a thin line between fictional pop stars and fictional bands, and I’ve decided to limit this list to solo acts — pop stars akin to Rihanna, Britney Spears, or Beyoncé. If I were to include bands, then this list would eventually have to include the cast of Glee, which hopefully is enough of a caveat for my case.
That being said, honorable mentions to fictional bands must be greatestowed. 4*Town, Josie and the Pussycats, The Wonders, Daisy Jones and the Six, the Dreamettes — we thank you for your music. Now, without further ado, let’s get into it.
10. Jocelyn from The Idol
Credit: Eddy Chen/HBO
Pros: “World Class Sinner”(opens in a new tab) is an absolute bop. While I’m not a huge fan of her at-home attire, I must admit that her pink outfit for the “World Class Sinner” music video shoot was absolutely divine and perfectly leaned into this summer’s hottest trend, Barbiecore. She’s supposedly the Britney Spears of her generation, and while we don’t really get to see much of that, I must recognize.
Cons: I have no idea why Jocelyn’s famous. She likes Tedros (Abel Tesfaye). If we got to see more of Jocelyn actually being a pop star, perhaps she would have earned a higher ranking on this list.
9. Chip Skylark from The Fairly OddParents
Credit: Screenshot Netflix
Pros: If you didn’t grow up watching The Fairly OddParents, let alone the Chip Skylark (voiced by Chris Kirkpatrick of *NSYNC) episodes, I hate to tell you that you missed out on an icon. “My Shiny Teeth and Me”(opens in a new tab) has unquestionably been stuck in my head for the last 15 years of my life. I owe all my dental hygiene to Chip.
Cons: The goatee needs to go. His discography is criminally limited. He’s also way too obsessed with singing about hygiene — must I remind you of “Icky Vicky,”(opens in a new tab) admittedly another banger? — but his fans deserved more of a range of topics.
8. Gazelle from Zootopia
Credit: Screenshot Disney+
Pros: “Try Everything”(opens in a new tab) is an excellent song. Her two-piece pink set is gorgeous. She’s literally Shakira if she were a gazelle.
Cons: I’m not sure how well a singing gazelle that sounds exactly like Shakira would fare in our world. It would definitely make for a great tour, but I worry about the fur. I feel like Gazelle’s styling options are also limited, and she seems to only have one bop under her belt (give us Zootopia 2!).
7. Riley Bina from Don’t Look Up
Credit: Niko Tavernise/Netflix
Pros: Riley Bina (played by actual pop star Ariana Grande) only got a couple of minutes of screen time in Adam McKay’s Don’t Look Up, and yet she ate those minutes right up. Her outfits were worthy of the Met Gala. Her song “Just Look Up”(opens in a new tab) was a catchy bop that rightly advocated for climate change awareness in our world. In Riley’s own words, “Get your head out of your ass, listen to the goddamn qualified scientists. We really fucked it up, fucked it up this time. It’s so close, I can feel the heat big time.” And I’m unashamedly part of her Vroom Vroom Army.
Cons: Her fanbase is called the Vroom Vroom Army. Also fine with being proposed to on live television.
6. Envy Adams from Scott Pilgrim vs. the World
Credit: Screenshot Prime Video
Pros: Envy Adams (played by Brie Larson) is the definition of a queer awakening. She’s the queen of serving edgy vampire realness. Her cover of Metric’s “Black Sheep”(opens in a new tab) remains an absolute banger. I wish she was real.
Cons: Clearly, she’s kind of a toxic partner. Also, does she have any original songs?
5. Isabella Parigi from The Lizzie McGuire Movie
Credit: Screenshot Disney+
Pros: The duet performed by Lizzie and Isabella (both played by Hilary Duff) of “What Dreams Are Made Of”(opens in a new tab) shaped an entire generation. No words I say could ever describe just how iconic Isabella’s “Sing to me, Paolo!” is. I’m also a big fan of her commitment to green faux leather. She is the early 2000s personified.
Cons: Does Isabella ever perform outside of Italy? Where’s the world tour?
4. Ni’jah from Swarm
Credit: Chris Reel/Prime Video
Pros: She’s literally Beyoncé in another universe. Do yourself a favor and keep track of all the Renaissance visuals in Ni’jah’s (Nirine S. Brown) music video for “Festival”(opens in a new tab), and soon you’ll understand why Dre (Dominique Fishback) did what she had to do.
Cons: How would I ever dare speak badly of Ni’jah? We all know what would happen after that.
3. Ally from A Star Is Born
Credit: Neal Preston / Warner Bros.
Pros: It’s Gaga. I fear that’s all that needs to be said.
Cons: Listening to “Shallow”(opens in a new tab) now feels more like a burden than a joy. Please don’t play it at your weddings.
2. Ashley O from Black Mirror
Credit: Graham Bartholome/Netflix
Pros: The purple wig. The tragic backstory. The perfectly pink, futuristic visuals. Ashley O (played by none other than Miley Cyrus) has it all. Now, is the Black Mirror episode Ashley’s featured in another great example of the show filling us with existential dread? Yes, it is. But does it also offer a creeping, subtle commentary on Cyrus’s own life and her alter ego, Hannah Montana, all while also giving us another iconic fictional pop star with bops you can never skip? Yes, it does. Ashley O 4ever.
Cons: I needed more songs besides “On A Roll.”(opens in a new tab) Give us the tunes! Give us her whole album!
1. Hannah Montana from Hannah Montana
Credit: Disney/Kobal/Shutterstock
Pros: Are you even surprised? Miley Cyrus has contributed not one but two fictional pop stars to our list, including — especially — the good ol’ girl from Tennessee. Hannah Montana raised an entire generation. She has meant something so profoundly to every kid who grew up watching Disney Channel. But emotional fluff aside, out of all the pop stars on this list, Hannah’s the only with an entire world of albums and a discography that actually led to her own tour in real life.
“He Could Be the One” is still the greatest love song of all time. “The Greatest of Both Worlds” is still the greatest karaoke song of all time. “I Got Nerve,” “Nobody’s Perfect,” “Ordinary Girl” — the list is endless. Hannah Montana is the fictional pop star. She’s the blueprint. And just like she promised us in 2010, we’ll always remember her.
Cons: None. Not even the Season 3 wig.
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