‘Sonic the Hedgehog’ feels like an empty cash grab: Movie review

At a time when a large chunk of the movie industry is hellbent on capitalizing on adult nerds’ nostalgia for properties from their childhoods, Sonic the Hedgehog takes a different path: It doesn’t try to appeal to adults at all.

To me, an adult who liked Sonic as a kid and still has an affinity for some of the games and shows, this movie was not very entertaining. Some parts were pretty good. But this wasn’t made for me. It was made for children.

How do I know this? Adults in the movie have no real responsibilities or realistic character traits. The jokes are obvious. There are no real twists or mysteries. The overarching theme of friendship is basically iterated directly to the camera about a dozen times throughout the movie.

I guess that’s fine because children aren’t really keen on picking up on complex messages or perceiving adults as anything other than chauffeurs or gatekeepers. Kids are watching Sonic the Hedgehog to see a talking blue mammal run fast, deliver funny quips, and beat the evil Dr. Robotnik, played by the absolutely ridiculous Jim Carrey, who channels the kind of energy he brought to his over-the-top comedic roles in the ‘90s with Batman Forever and Ace Ventura.

The only part that felt like a nod to older viewers was a blink-and-you’ll-miss-it reference to the purposefully awful drawing of “Sanic Hegehog,” which proliferated across the internet over the last decade after being introduced in a since-removed 2010 YouTube video (that has been dozens of times).

If you’re a Sonic fan of the ’90s or ’00s hoping for some deep cut references or something that appeals to your developed tastes and critical thinking, you’ll probably walk away disappointed. And if you’re looking for a fun movie full of heart and great characters, you’ll probably walk away disappointed too, because this movie feels empty, even if it is pretty.

The Sonic movie universe

After an opening tease to a climactic chase later in the movie — which literally is couched in a freeze frame of Sonic (voiced by Ben Schwartz), running from an explosion and delivering a line akin to “Yep, that’s me, and you’re probably wondering how I ended up in this situation” — Sonic the Hedgehog takes a short journey into the blue blur’s past.

We get treated to a baby version of Sonic racing around his world, which appears to be Green Hill Zone, the first zone in the 1991 Sonic the Hedgehog game on Sega Genesis. A group of evil Echidnas (unknown if Knuckles is among them) is trying to capture or maybe kill Sonic, who is being protected by a new character, Longclaw the Owl. Longclaw gives Sonic a bag of magical rings that open portals to any place the user wants, and off he goes to the Earth.

Afraid of making himself known, Sonic lives a life of watchful solitude in the town of Green Hills, Montana (which is not a real place) until he’s noticed by the government, which views him as a potential terrorist threat and sends in Dr. Robotnik to investigate. On the run, Sonic crosses paths with Green Hills sheriff Tom Wachowski (James Marsden) and the two team up to get Robotnik off Sonic’s tail and retrieve Sonic’s lost rings so he can once again escape to safety on a new world.

The movie, like pretty much everything in Sonic’s history, ignores most of what has been established previously, but keeps Sonic’s characteristics generally the same. One big difference is that this version of Sonic has very strong electric powers, which he generates by running really fast and releases in lightning-like bursts. 

Sonic the Hedgehog also establishes that Sonic is an alien from a different planet than humans, which contradicts every game and show in Sonic’s history. Instead of a world where anthropomorphic animals like Sonic coexist with humans, the two groups are completely separate until Sonic arrives. 

By placing Sonic onto our real world planet instead of leaning in and embracing the world that the series has built, it loses a bit of its charm.

While this is certainly a movie targeting a demographic that cannot legally drive a car, is it actually an enjoyable movie? I think there are too many instances that suggest otherwise.

Big pitfalls

Sonic the Hedgehog has some problems.

One of the biggest is the obvious product placements. There’s a scene where Tom’s wife Maddie (Tika Sumpter) mentions she’s been looking at apartments online, and we get a shot of her laptop screen open to a particular real estate website as she says the company’s name. It feels like it was pulled from a commercial. There’s also a mention of Amazon in relation to drones.

But the worst and most obvious advertisement in the movie is for Olive Garden, which actually happens twice. The first instance comes early on in the movie when Tom and Maddie mention the restaurant and also say its slogan. Later in the movie, the couple is given a gift card to Olive Garden. It sucks because it’s so obvious.

Another issue comes when Sonic is trying to collect his bag of emergency portal rings, which are sitting on top of the Transamerica Pyramid building in San Francisco. Sonic claims that he can’t get on top of the building, so the gang needs to figure out a way to get past security, get a keycard and ride the elevator up to the top. 

But can’t Sonic run up a building? We see him run up vertical ramps and around loops at the beginning of the movie.

Whoops.

Such missteps give the impression that some people in the chain of command weren’t really interested in making a Sonic the Hedgehog movie. Instead, they were interested in making money off a movie using the title Sonic the Hedgehog.

Sure, there are some fun jokes and some references to classic Sonic stuff, like his love of chili dogs, but there’s so little to this movie that actually makes an impact. A kid would be better off watching the shows Sonic X or the more recent Sonic Boom if they’re looking for a good non-gaming take on Sonic and friends.

Oh and by the way, the “friends” part of “Sonic and friends” is seriously lacking in this movie. Where’s Big the Cat? Cream the Rabbit? Shadow the Hedgehog? Come on.

The redesign

Ahead of the release, Paramount released a since-deleted trailer for Sonic the Hedgehog that had a very different design of the main character. You can check out photos of the original design in this roundup of reactions where people are equal parts disturbed and disappointed by the studio’s visual direction for the iconic Sega character.

The uproar inspired Paramount to delay the movie and change the design of Sonic, a $5 million decision that undoubtedly forced a lot of animators to work a lot more than they planned on.

Was it worth it? Maybe, from an aesthetic point of view. Sonic certainly looks good in Sonic the Hedgehog, and nothing about the design makes it feel rushed or out of place in the movie.

But it makes me wonder: Would I have enjoyed this movie more if it had the original, slightly horrifying Sonic design? I think so.

I believe if Sonic looked that weird throughout the whole movie, it would have tipped the scale in its favor. As it stands, the movie is pretty forgettable. But with an awful-looking protagonist, it might have been bad enough to actually start to become good, like how The Room or other similar so-bad-they’re-good films manage to find fans.

I’m not calling for a cut of the movie with the original design, because I have no interest in watching Sonic the Hedgehog again, but I bet some fans are going to pretty vocal about that original cut online.